Ramblings: August 2009

There are, quite simply, a lot of women in my life. They vary from my little cousin -who is hardly that little as she is turning 18 this year(!) - to my mother, a woman I'd much rather not get into right now, because this is about my friends; the girls who make my life whole. I hesitate to call them, you, girls but I guess it is more apt than 'women' as we have experience so little of life, it is rather teenage trivia that amuses us, but as we find it important I can't very well discard it.
I can divide my closest female friend into two groups; home and university. Even though my student life up north stretches to a single year, the girls, women, friends that I have lived with are as close to me as time has allowed. I'm not trying to make myself sound so very popular, or the best friend that you could have (far from it), but they all mean so much to me, even though I don't always show it. I wonder, is it because you are all so intertwined with my life that I know that we will be friends for life? Or is it because you mean so much more to me than you will ever know? They are my best friends, people who will easily tell me when I'm wrong - which is frequently - they have shared my tears as I have shared theirs, these are the girls who were with me when I dreamt my dreams and snorted, embarrassingly, with laughter.
I guess I should start at the beginning with E. E, the organised. E, Bree Van de Kamp reincarnated. E, Time Lady. We met when we were twelve years old and I was her guardian showing her around the school that was to become our entire lives for the next six years. She was painfully shy and cried on her first day (dare I say it was my loud, extrovert personality that got to her?), but it is something we still reminisce to this day. Unfortunately for her we struck up a strange bond, one where I took advantage of our friendship and managed to get her to do my every whim. I still feel guilty and so I should! Thankfully this soon deteriorated and now I am very much in her power. We have had our ups and downs throughout the years, mainly to do with my inability to follow golden friendship rules (ie don't get with your best friend's crush), but we survived.
Barely. By the time we were turning seventeen things change. We didn't talk. It just ended. Never before had I felt so alons in my life. It was as if a light had gone out and I was struggling to see in the dark. I realised that I had taken our friendship for granted, I had taken my role as set in stone, not realising that I was at fault and needed to change. E showed me that, painfully, especially as it was only after the spell in Coventry that I knew that I had done anything wrong. Now I know that nothing will ever come between us, at least not for long.
I see her as my conscience. In fact I think she has always been my conscience, my good angel, telling me the difference between right and wrong. Fair play to her for putting up with me, most of the time I did ignore her, but without her at university I can really tell how much I need her in my life (note to self - call her more often when up north so as to make fewer mistakes!). I could and can and do tell E everything, sometimes no words even need to be uttered, she just knows, unfortunately.
Secondly there is S. I supposed I should have put her first as nowhere else is good enough for S, but tough, you're second. For a change. Honestly I can hardly remember not having S as a friend, though I know it's only in the last five years that we have become so close. She is hilarious. Crazy. Opinionated. She doesn't trust me. Fair enough. I don't trust me. But I can't imagine my life without her. Whenever reminscing of my times with S there is laughter. And it's at something that no one else in the world would find funny. Like blatantly rape. Or McKenzie. Or my list. Or beaver, You'd think we were so immature!
Without a doubt S makes the world a brighter place. As long as she's not being moody. Or secretive. Which she does tend to do every now and again. But you get used to it and I guess it's only right to keep her in balance with the ups and downs. I think that S is my friend purely for the stream of gossip I provide. It's a good relationship, one based on gossip. We could talk about crap for Britain. In fact we could talk about crap, for years, for Britain, while running the country (though of course we couldn't do it without Time Lady). But yes, you just gotta love S.
Moving swiftly onwards we get to K. K the enigma, the dark horse, the straight A student. Perfection. Full stop. She's a legend. She's everything I'd want to be if I could be arsed. I love her. She is my idol. In a purely platonic way K.
Yeah, although she is one of my best friends there is the whole, 'I scare her', issue. There was this one time, which happens to involve a drunken me and a bathroom. But that's beside the point. K and I get on great though our common ground slips more to similar taste in guys than anything else. But that doesn't really mean anything. See what I mean about K? So close but no idea how to put it into words. All I know is that the Fab Four, (yes that would be the four of us) would be incomplete without her. And for that I respect her more than she'll ever know.
R. What can I say about her? She is the one of my friends from home who I have known the least, but once again I cannot imagine a life without her. Although sometimes I wish we weren't friends. I love her to pieces and she means so much to me but I am being the evil friend that I was toE all those years ago. So much for changing. R is so loving, so kind, so caring that she hasn't the heart to say no to me. And once I've learned that I can get my own way, I very rarely stop myself. I hate that about me. I hate that about our friendship. But I can't be told what to do, even when I know owhat the problem is and can read the solution it doesn't mean I intend to do anything about it.
R is the ray of sunshine to brighten up your day. There is no one in the world that has a kinder heart. She is a true golden girl, someone who would bend over backwards and rub your back while trying to accommodate anyone and everyone else over herself. There is no denying that she is a klutz, but it's all a part of her charm. Even the fact that she likes football(!) and doesn't EVER dress up can be forgiven because she is the most genuine person you'll ever meet. R is also fortunate enough to believe in love. And truly her world would be a worse place without it. She loves greatly and passionately and deserves love more than the Messiah himself. Even through the pain of unrequited love she doesn't reject the idea of love (unlike yours truly), nor does she torment herself, she just accepts whatever life throws at her. I admire her strength, and I do hope that she realises I will always be there for her.
Finally I get to Miss H. Once again I have known her for years but our friendship kindled in the year of 2005 what with Ted Bundy, Xbox, Jd and Uno. She is annoyingly talented at anything she puts her mind to, if she ever gets inspired enough to even try, and stops worrying about what other people think. But such is the bane of our society. H is the most random, entertaining, opinionated, sweet, cute, adorable, words-cannot-describe friend that I have ever had the fortune to meet.
She has these obsessions; Manga, Muse, unrequited love, fashion, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Vampires in general, Japan, Xbox, the list is enormous, that rule her life. But don't think that hinders who she is. H wouldn't be H without her unique obsessions. She makes the most expressive of noises when excited and her eyes shine with glee - however clichéd there really is no other word - whenever she is happy and has thought of something that has capture her heart. H and I have so much in common, more so than any of my other friends. The only thing that R, H and myself discovered that we have in common is Geography. Odd.
But yes, these are my friends from home. Not all of them, but the ones who are in my heart and mind more than I care to let on. These five I missed more than I could imagine when I first moved up north. The summer doesn't fully arrive, in my eyes, unless I have spent some quality time with these lovely ladies; laughing, bitching and reminiscing.
And now, over to those who have changed my life for the netter in a foreign land... Ok, about 100miles up north.
I have no idea where to start with all of them and I don't think I can go into anywhere as much detail because honestly I'm embarrassed to write about what we get up to. Ok, what I get up to and what they have to deal with. All I can say to them is thank you so much for putting up with my soap opera of a life. You know I can't help it darlings. I appreciate everything you do so much and I look forward to the rest of my life with these memories as well as knowing that we are friends forever. Eurgh. Cannot believe I just wrote that. Far too soppy for my liking and I think it might ruin my image.
Ciao Bellas. Xx

Ramblings

Monday, 31 August 2009

Intertwining Ramble Between Friends

Sunday, 30 August 2009

A ramble down no particular path.